As the world and environs divides itself and brings turns and spikes in the way I seek your presence, my mind goes haywire not knowing what to do. I am not a bad person just 'coz I love you. Why is love, need, romance and seeking a hand to hold is considered such an inane activity. I reckon I am good when I say inane, but further I would say, inane and destructive almost to the level of criminal. But I am seeking nothing but a largess of memories. In which conversations are plied on a daily basis with the small reminders continuously gathering inside the molecules in my brain to gather for another day in solitude. The heart that has been hurt and lampooned and belittled a million times over does not seek no redemption in love. It does seek redemption from the longings that love bestows upon it. Is it too much to ask when the mind is ravaged by the sense of guilt for having implied thus. The societal norms seek to express itself in many ways within the conscience that seeks to love.
The norms are more powerful within as it has been fed constantly by the bickering and barrage of ethical definitions, moral declarations and value variables. When aligned against those my love seems belittled and trampled with no succor in sight. But I seek to rebel and many a times I have been lampooned and kicked for this rebellish streak and I have risen up from the ashes and stood the test of time but again in my own way. Losing a score and winning very less in the bargain. And now I stand in disharmony 'coz I am deeply, unconsciously and succinctly in complete adoration of this brilliant individual with her delightful expressions, deep rooted beliefs, lithe fingers, gorgeous invocations, dreamy elegance, blatant countenance and above all of that the smile. The smile that lights up the horizon, a spark of delight that brings serenity in the wide landscape, and a visage that hopes for all the stories to be heaps of prolific positivism. Do I need this forever. Yes I do. I seek thus for all I know and for all I care. The distant lights bring in small memoirs of a few days back, the one star in the night sky brings reminiscences of her. A gleeful read, a brilliant line, a painting of class, a face filled with anecdotes, all of it I seek to share. Nothing else matters but to share all the moments that make me trudge along. The good, the bad, the sarcastic, the useless, the mirth, the happiness, the plight, the discourses from yesteryear, the stories of yore, the bleak movements in my small history, the glad moments of my lean tales, the future, the us, all of it has to be mutually enjoyed. I can see it happen and yet it stays a distant dream.
I shall stay away 'coz, I know not whether you ever even blink an eye from my thought
I shall stay away 'coz, if I know you do
I shall embrace you with slightest of hands, and I shall stop my words from speaking
I shall let the embrace remonstrate and my kiss narrate the yarn
But may be you do not want to know,
May be there is the lucky other who already spoke of his story
And the narrative has caught your hearts fancy
And so you know how to love and it has struck deep inside you
Not for me , but for some other, but love has you inside of you
But do I need your permits to love you
Do I need to ask for the same
I am a free man with no mean task at hand
I just need to construct a chalet within me
Love you more as every passing hour serves me time
And love you so
That when the wind blows on my sepulture
The song that the bard shall play
would sweeten the days of your life
for everyday ahead
And, you shall seek to know of the sweetest song you have heard
and the heart shall know deep within
this solace is none but from the unknown
But I have felt this string being bent
somewhere in my long lost years....
I love you
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