I was standing with the trees, the breeze floating around me. A kinda sedate feeling set in,, It was a beautiful day and it continued to be so but the sense of longing and the truth of all that really matters settled in and the anxiety of such thoughts brushed down the enthusiasm to a level that currently is quite unfathomable.
I am not free
It is so easy to sit in a corner with your screens and keyboards to do stroke play with them fingers. Freedom is this, express it completely and this shall set you fucking free and I dunno what other bullshit. But reality check is that freedom is not easy. Expressing real feelings from deep within is not easy. It maneuvers itself in myriad forms but never precise, always subtle. Subtlety need not be understood instead it could be misconstrued. I am just fucking around with words coz in the real scenario what I want to say is simple: I love this person, I know I do, I would never be expressing this to this lady not shall I ever be expressing this deep rooted abrupt burst of extreme adoration for her to no one but myself. I know it with all my heart and one cannot argue much with the heart, in fact one should not. I am not worried about nothing but her and I do not want to be the spanner in the works of the love of my life. I like the expressions that bloom forth inside of me when I ruminate, i love the explosion of interest in her and the explosion of interest in myself that has ensued since my erudition on this matter. I love the lethargic intensity of being able to create files of memoirs that shall stand the stead of time and be companions in my lonely walks down with the trees and wind. I talk to myself since I think I was in my early teens. Solitude has been a big companion. And I chose it, Solitude did not chose me, I chose it and I am happy of that choice in a million fucked up choices. going back to talking to myself, yes, now that is something so worthwhile. Because I found my companion in her, her chivalrous laugh, her abrupt expressions of delight, fright and curiosity, her expansive conversations, her tales, her pride of self and her friends, her immense need to see the clear and big picture it can continue for a long time but yes I know her so well in such limited time and I can have a load of the conversations with this person I feel I know. No risks, even if I got it wrong about her, I can say this what I mentioned is what I love.
So instead of beating around subtly I reckon now everyone knows this is it....
And that my mates is pure bliss, nothing compares.....
I am not free
It is so easy to sit in a corner with your screens and keyboards to do stroke play with them fingers. Freedom is this, express it completely and this shall set you fucking free and I dunno what other bullshit. But reality check is that freedom is not easy. Expressing real feelings from deep within is not easy. It maneuvers itself in myriad forms but never precise, always subtle. Subtlety need not be understood instead it could be misconstrued. I am just fucking around with words coz in the real scenario what I want to say is simple: I love this person, I know I do, I would never be expressing this to this lady not shall I ever be expressing this deep rooted abrupt burst of extreme adoration for her to no one but myself. I know it with all my heart and one cannot argue much with the heart, in fact one should not. I am not worried about nothing but her and I do not want to be the spanner in the works of the love of my life. I like the expressions that bloom forth inside of me when I ruminate, i love the explosion of interest in her and the explosion of interest in myself that has ensued since my erudition on this matter. I love the lethargic intensity of being able to create files of memoirs that shall stand the stead of time and be companions in my lonely walks down with the trees and wind. I talk to myself since I think I was in my early teens. Solitude has been a big companion. And I chose it, Solitude did not chose me, I chose it and I am happy of that choice in a million fucked up choices. going back to talking to myself, yes, now that is something so worthwhile. Because I found my companion in her, her chivalrous laugh, her abrupt expressions of delight, fright and curiosity, her expansive conversations, her tales, her pride of self and her friends, her immense need to see the clear and big picture it can continue for a long time but yes I know her so well in such limited time and I can have a load of the conversations with this person I feel I know. No risks, even if I got it wrong about her, I can say this what I mentioned is what I love.
So instead of beating around subtly I reckon now everyone knows this is it....
And that my mates is pure bliss, nothing compares.....
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