Note - Poesy - 29th April, 2016

A sense of security clothes over me
like an unwound cloud blanketed over the horizon
I see you warm and surreal as I look out the window
enjoying the breeze and smelling roses

As my breathing pattern differs watching your
presence within my rational thoughts
I quiver in delight of the love that permeates in me
the warm exuberance of glorious adoration

At times I weep in delight and in plight
over the overwhelming surrender of my mind
the braggadocio of the male ego, not letting go
but the bustle of fondness pervades all over me

I sit here, in calm rectitude, ruminating
the pleasures of everyday joys enslaving me
I stoop in gratitude and positive receptiveness
to your grandeur and divine presence,
this fairy tale magnanimity curled inside me
I bestow my life,my love and myself unto you,
in complete harmony and tender adulation.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The initial view bloomed within me,

a figurine of a li'l girl

who embraced flowers and dolls

the versatile movement of the lips

the effervescent giggle,

the feminine shamefulness, the wherewithal smile,

all align themselves together

in silent harmony

a playful, generic, attraction emerges

I talk - we talk

and she grows on me in aplomb

A woman, charming and alluring

who finds rhythms in books

the musical clatter of her eyes

the crisp, realistic smile,

the lady-like brashness, the measured words,

crowds around in precision

the harmony still exists, peaceful

an ecstatic, pulsating love allows itself

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Colorful images splashed across me,

by her passionate expressions of her bygone days,

they brought in me vivid pictures of the hills,

they beckon me once more as I stand far away in awe.

The elaborate preciseness of past moments,

moments which got etched in memory

due to their natural effervescence

came out glorified unto me, with taste

I stand spellbound within those snow capped mountains

the clouds grazing by in gay abandon

stepping down each ice-capped largesse

the green of the pasture with its alluring virginity

harmoniously correlating in the milieu

the wild flowers, with their sullen purple haze

and the majestic view

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Dreamy moorings - Note - 28th April, 2016

Whence did God create this penance
this silent orchard of love
How sublime it stands at the crossroads
at the mercy of all that we humans concur

How delicate is its peaceful resonance
the hills clad in benign white of the clouds
in memory of some long lost hope
How parched are the sands of time seeking its place in history

How doth one not seek spirituality here
the language of the hills speak only thus
How I feel the silence of love within the cold confines
How does one stay away from green presence of long bound hills

Do we not seek nirvana here, do we not know about it here
Our body embraces the vanity of our thoughts
It mingles and minuscules itself to silent multitudes
How far do we walk in search of why we seek what
Do we not just need to come among this presence just to let go

Let the mind wander, that  I did in silent penance
Let the body take in the calmness of the faraway hills
Let my time creep out as and when it burrows itself
Let me be me today, cause nothing else can understand the oneness of  me
and the colors around and you, of course...

___________________________________________

I seek to gain the erudition of my love
                I seek to bind myself to this thought and knowledge
As the fir and the shrub and meadows
                              lighten up with the touch of the milder dew
and the rain clouds gather its darkened shields to pour on us
                                 its glorious vanities
So I seek penance in the thought of you...

I watch from under green roofs,
                             with the smell of the wet grass and sand
and find my answers for God has seldom given such comeuppance and glory
                                to places much vaster and beautiful
for here I watch God reside and love
                                          and give in heavy abundance the seeker of wisdom
the clarity of pure thought and the silent yearnings of my love
                                 come joyously dancing to mirror the thought of
yet another wanderer lusting to glance beyond
                                          the measure that's been given in deliverance.

Note - Poesy - 28 April, 2016

Your laughter embalms my heartfelt pains

Your lithe, little hands endorse my future plans

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Gather me up enough a word, I pray,

              Lest I should wither unto life's second hour today,

Let the prejudices, contemplation's, imaginations and love huddle together, and

             Brim within of me,

Lest I forget the mortality in the units of my expression.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Let us seek in the dawn of space the pleasure of effervescent mornings

Let us seek within of our life the leisure of anxious adoration

Let us seek in the dusk of time the delight of vivacious nights

Let us seek outside of our life the sanctity of fretful worship

Let us be seekers on all sides and love each other like none other.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

                                                      A kiss...just in case

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

When I hold you I hold everything that is --
            sand, space, time, the tree of the rain,

everything is alive so that I can be alive within of you:
                                    without moving I can see it all:
in your life I see everything that lives.

And that is all there is to it, nothing else, dear, YOU…

__________________________________________________

Poesy - Note 28th April, 2016

They took my poems
         my cardboard box with envelopes
poems written all over them with vague lines differentiating

the junkyard guy took it
            my people gave it away
they thought it may be college notes
nobody believes in them notes, what would he do with this crap
                          They felt
do you know how difficult it is to come up with something
     a lot of my love was designed on those pages
I had ideas that need to be seen
dealt with

I needed to know how I will love her
   when I shall meet her
it had details
                     the holding of the hand
the cusp of the chin, my finger playing with her hair
I would see the tufts of thin hair wafting in the wind, on her back
                     when she's out of the shower, and I shall watch it sway in the light
 the twist of her lips and when I shall kiss the upper lip
                     and when I shall touch the lower ones her smell in company
the breathing heavily drawn

you gave it all away to the junkyard guy
               he is going to burn it all and then them embers shall fly
I shall not even breathe it
                 some passerby's shall take it in and their lungs would curdle up a few visions
and she may say how come I am thinking such,
                     till yester, I was breathing fine, now I feel a tug in my heart
I am not choking but a tug
           
How shall I find out how I loved her then
                   on that day on that hour
           now it is different day and hour
everyday I shall love different but you need the past to build the present

please do not take my poems
                     she and these are all that I have.....
I keep sane among'st you 'coz of  her and my love for her and my words...

Neruda In I and Brautigan normal

Spinning like a ghost
on the bottom of a
top,

I’m haunted by all
the space that I
will live without
you.

Down there I noticed,
under my necktie and just above the heart,
a certain pang of grief between the ribs,
you were gone that quickly.

I needed the light of your energy,
I looked around, devouring hope.
I watched the void without you that is like a house,
nothing left but tragic windows.

Out of sheer taciturnity the ceiling listens
to the fall of the ancient leafless rain,
to feathers, to whatever the night imprisoned:

so I wait for you like a lonely house
till you will see me again and live in me.
Till then my windows ache.

Anne Sexton - admonitions - a small part

Watch out for love

(unless it is true,
and every part of you says yes including the toes) ,
it will wrap you up like a mummy,
and your scream won’t be heard
and none of your running will end.

Love? Be it man. Be it woman.
It must be a wave you want to glide in on,
give your body to it, give your laugh to it,
give, when the gravelly sand takes you,
your tears to the land. To love another is something
like prayer and can’t be planned, you just fall
into its arms because your belief undoes your disbelief.

Special person,
if I were you I’d pay no attention
to admonitions from me,
made somewhat out of your words
and somewhat out of mine.
A collaboration.

Note - 27 April 2016

Someday my time would expire
        my love would bury with me
For me, my future has to cease now
    all the moments that float here with you
is the best that I have swam in my life
I do not know why, what and how
I do not have any answers to anything
I know not what has happened
but this frolicsome messiness inside of me
           of you and your benignity
I want to grab hold of it forever....
                    and this is that moment, dear
I want to embrace you
                  imprint your bones on me
and like Hughes would speak...
                          you have taken hostage of my brain
and I look at me sometime, I see you and not me

let me just fade into the sunset, my goodbyes are all set
     let me go now, baby, with you staying in me, the way it is....

Root...Poesy -- Note 2 26th April, 2016

In my lone wanderings
      I seek answers that may seem a trifle

lone 'coz you are not there
      I guess you wanted to be left alone
I reckoned it would be easy for me...

My eyes glued at all times on the one element that mattered
             is she going to say something
wouldn't it be nice to know... she remembers

It is like the cocaine tick,
my hands wandering around to catch something
restless and incoherent my fingers trying to reach out
              my heart skipped a beat as I saw a bag pass by
                                    It had the same hue as yours

what I witnessed was my perception visualizing
            my need
what a wonderment this mind,
layer by layer I keep ripping it apart
                    to seek the place were you may not be there
rueful yet searching, but
you are so well entrenched inside of me
              a root was planted, the way W Blake did his poison tree
I have me a tree of adoration
           I took such high care with water, shine, wind and bare
you has ingrained itself into my souls crust

No amount of vanity could uproot you
 you are part of the journey
a day of despair has passed me by
'coz
          your physical presence did not fructify

hope still floats in modesty
the mundane existence of today's throes
makes way for the tranquil bliss of faith
              I am aware this is my journey, honey
I am cognizant you do not want no part in it
         but the ecstasy in the sereneness of the thoughts of you
they make me forage these monotone lines

I shall be here, the shadow to your self
                        the journey has just begun,
may the twain move analogous
          a knot twined someplace shall keep me apace...

Love......

Poesy - Note - April 26th 2016

The garden beckoned me to enter

           I did

Now the fruit beckons me to eat

                  I am paranoid, i'm in fear

They say, the paranoid survive, but I have fear in company

All hell breaks loose every hour, as the notions of attraction 

                 spring inside of me

I want to let go of it all, but it keep pecking inside of me

I am like the nightingale that sings but yet

                                 unable to get the tune in sync

I am bound inside the room and fear is what its built

          I have the words and they speak but they don't express

I had withdrawn well, my mind alighting, but I saw her smile

             bounced back exactly where I was before

I wanted to embrace her smile and let her know 

      the deep throes of my heart explode 

My soul is tense, my mind wants to wander free

                           but i'm bound in this imbroglio, entwining inside of me

How can love be an imbroglio?

           am I wrong in all this, 'coz love is no  tangle

Love is free yet contrived, Love is happiness yet poignant

Love is mellifluous yet loud, love is peace yet hostile

Is that the entanglement?

             I don't have any answers 

How large an abyss am I digging myself in 

                     I can't comprehend 

I am loving to drown in the perplexity

it is tearing me apart

                   and I am loving the rips and the shreds I befall

The mirror has been raised, and the insignificance of me 

                 casts its vision for me to witness

Its all about love, about her, about nimble hands

             about hair sliding across the visage

Her eyes: shining bright spots glued to something I know not

Her prancing across like a gale in sprite and joy

Her words, simple nuanced specks that carry the story to me

               they nail into me and stay forever never to rust

Her crackled mirth, a joyful disposition worthy of every dust

                       carried by the stars to sparkle in pleasure

Her wit and elegance swayed the boats on the bay

                     the moon crept out to sneak a look at the say

I could see the tides bow and Sun creeping low

   She is my eternal bliss in confusion and indulgence

I am keeping her inside of me, cocooned

               she can walk the world free-willed

I shall be by her, silent

  In love

if that smile gets a shade, I shall plop down a tale

   a wind from the hills and a scent from the gardens

That is all there is to it - to love and to love like none other     

to care and to adore 

                            and to live every hour in the bloom of the wild unabated

                                     ebb and flow of affection's deluge

 

Note - 25th April, 2016

As the morning tea rolled of my tongue
         the heat passing through to my gut
I missed talking to you
        about the millionth thing, I thought I should share

All of it comes down to conversation
             and then when there is nothing much to talk
there is the unwavering hug of music, not heard
                the all encompassing grip of dances not danced

Oh how good it would be to hold your hands
    and listen to Chopin's spring waltz wafting in the air
building further on the essence of what we spoke

I love the way you do not allow me to digress
my thought process is safe when you align the paths for it to take
              else I am this grey old soul, digressing his way
into paths that feel stubborn and to leaves that rot
I love it when you place it subtly
                  letting me know I am wavering

I take delight in the companionship
the ludicrous extent of shared logical passions that bring glee to us

It is like the rains come to cleanse the trails of yesteryear
like the volcano bursts to build new hills and meadows
like the forest fire engulfs all to bring in the smell of  anew
like the tsunami wreaks in disdain
                 only to find the a warmth enveloping of new growth    
I am like the baby slipping out of his cocoon
       crying out loud when life begins to enter its veins

I love that I am not lost, like before
             I love that you bought back a dying stone
with your lithe hands, working its wonders
 slowly, steadily building me with nature's marvels
                     that you carry as tools to plod, paint and sculpt

I love you such that my dirge I hear
    and it is but a tune by the gypsies and their lore
and it sings that her love is what made his world sublime

Barcelona Gipsy Klezmer Orchestra - Djelem Djelem

Sunday rendition for you 'coz you are beautiful at all times...

Little Walter My Babe

Past has a bad rap

television keeps blinking
the phone notifies of things that do not matter

I let the past stay where it is, in the past
the present is languidly pacing itself
                 a sloth in high motion
there is not a step that has been taken
            movement has withdrawn itself into a shell
it is fearful of being hacked

my friends came and went, I think
it is but a notion
existential overtones bear within me

asking questions of what I seek to do

I said
  I need progression
isn't that what breaks monotony
I live in a perception of progress but I am not moving
It is like walking and yet never reaching any place new

The notion of advancement keeping me alive

But in the real I am just existing
inside a perception called love
I love, but reciprocation is what makes liaisons drape well

Love is all that counts
I am not counting on the movement there
but sets in motion a series of reactions

a pretty set of crayons align themselves
placate my state with colorful brilliance
a testimony to the journeys I have partaken
They tumble out of their closeted existence
hues of mottled luster -

the grey don't stay back
but they are reminiscences that make me who I am

so allow the past to plummet back
and in unison with the present I continue the ennui
           indolently moving from this hour to the next

bountiful, happy, lazy and in love

21st April - Note

The gardens looked dour today
she had crept in a few times to speak of I dunno what
did she want to sleep with me
                  she could have said so

but that ain't the case, I know she knows
  would we like to beat around that bush
talk politics, history and get rotten headed by the end of the day

there are no solutions, there is just customary movement
day in and day out
months on end the misery of economics and finance
continue then they all say there is a light
                    at the end of that fucking tunnel

by the time the light is reached it is but
               a rear lit firefly
closer you reach and it is like snowflakes in the wind
everything seemed for now

there is nothing called eternity
the bullshit has been thrown around a lot
create something, make a name

then what - 6 feet of fucking mud to grind in
nobody knows what happened
a speck of dust flying around in the milky way
                    if not gobbled by some stars

all this monstrosities, stress and I dunno
                 morals, values, content and erudition
just a speck floating in the vast expanse of space
        with no sense of time or aim

I love the fact that I at least love you untrammeled
            my soul shall carry the stories to the endless stars of the universe

Bliss

I was standing with the trees, the breeze floating around me. A kinda sedate feeling set in,, It was a beautiful day and it continued to be so but the sense of longing and the truth of all that really matters settled in and the anxiety of such thoughts brushed down the enthusiasm to a level that currently is quite unfathomable.

I am not free

It is so easy to sit in a corner with your screens and keyboards to do stroke play with them fingers. Freedom is this, express it completely and this shall set you fucking free and I dunno what other bullshit. But reality check is that freedom is not easy. Expressing real feelings from deep within is not easy. It maneuvers itself in myriad forms but never precise, always subtle. Subtlety need not be understood instead it could be misconstrued. I am just fucking around with words coz in the real scenario what I want to say is simple: I love this person, I know I do, I would never be expressing this to this lady not shall I ever be expressing this deep rooted abrupt burst of extreme adoration for her to no one but myself. I know it with all my heart and one cannot argue much with the heart, in fact one should not. I am not worried about nothing but her and I do not want to be the spanner in the works of the love of my life. I like the expressions that bloom forth inside of me when I ruminate, i love the explosion of interest in her and the explosion of interest in myself that has ensued since my erudition on this matter. I love the lethargic intensity of being able to create files of memoirs that shall stand the stead of time and be companions in my lonely walks down with the trees and wind. I talk to myself since I think I was in my early teens. Solitude has been a big companion. And I chose it, Solitude did not chose me, I chose it and I am happy of that choice in a million fucked up choices. going back to talking to myself, yes, now that is something so worthwhile. Because I found my companion in her, her chivalrous laugh, her abrupt expressions of delight, fright and curiosity, her expansive conversations, her tales, her pride of self and her friends, her immense need to see the clear and big picture it can continue for a long time but yes I know her so well in such limited time and I can have a load of the conversations with this person I feel I know. No risks, even if I got it wrong about her, I can say this what I mentioned is what I love.

So instead of beating around subtly I reckon now everyone knows this is it....

And that my mates is pure bliss, nothing compares.....

Note 20th April, 2016

How many a story I would like to partake with you
    how many a story I would like to listen from you

Isn't that all there is to all of this

to share, speak, love and keep walking parallel paths
holding hands and keeping our hearts wide open

Our minds intertwined in learning, knowing
a journey through the contours of time

all the way to eternity,

you want to call that love, well, then that is what it is....

Magic Sam - My Love Will Never Die

Note - 20th April, 2016

Someone died
It hurt
it hurt deep as my affection marred profound
she whimpered in her sleep, unknowingly
               deep in pain
I watched her as she moved her eyelids bouncing around
the body was taking the pain of the mind
twitching, turning, not knowing what to do

when the skin hurts or the bones, you can touch and solace set in
when the inside hurts there is nothing to touch

I do not know what to say
my words left me
I listened, I heard and I did not find any meaning in them words
They were just passing by in the same horror with which death visited

Isn't death but a movement from the unknown to the known
      Isn't is it just a phase that leads you to better forlorn
Are we not selfish to beat ourselves here in our tedium
to say, this is my waking hour and what curse stuck this pitiful soul
How is it a curse? what is it?

Aren't we like the sand, the sea, the fishes, the dunes and the mountains?
        Aren't we a bunch of cells that need relinquish this figurine
and move to god knows what next?
Aren't we like all else on earth that seek to churn, change, mold and get better?
isn't this getting better?

In my pain I watch my love for you better
I seek answers
but from within my love for you....

Note 18 April. 2016

As the world and environs divides itself and brings turns and spikes in the way I seek your presence, my mind goes haywire not knowing what to do. I am not a bad person just 'coz I love you. Why is love, need, romance and seeking a hand to hold is considered such an inane activity. I reckon I am good when I say inane, but further I would say, inane and destructive almost to the level of criminal. But I am seeking nothing but a largess of memories. In which conversations are plied on a daily basis with the small reminders continuously gathering inside the molecules in my brain to gather for another day in solitude. The heart that has been hurt and lampooned and belittled a million times over does not seek no redemption in love. It does seek redemption from the longings that love bestows upon it. Is it too much to ask when the mind is ravaged by the sense of guilt for having implied thus. The societal norms seek to express itself in many ways within the conscience that seeks to love.

The norms are more powerful within as it has been fed constantly by the bickering and barrage of ethical definitions, moral declarations and value variables. When aligned against those my love seems belittled and trampled with no succor in sight. But I seek to rebel and many a times I have been lampooned and kicked for this rebellish streak and I have risen up from the ashes and stood the test of time but again in my own way. Losing a score and winning very less in the bargain. And now I stand in disharmony 'coz I am deeply, unconsciously and succinctly in complete adoration of this brilliant individual with her delightful expressions, deep rooted beliefs, lithe fingers, gorgeous invocations, dreamy elegance, blatant countenance and above all of that the smile. The smile that lights up the horizon, a spark of delight that brings serenity in the wide landscape, and a visage that hopes for all the stories to be heaps of prolific positivism. Do I need this forever. Yes I do. I seek thus for all I know and for all I care. The distant lights bring in small memoirs of a few days back, the one star in the night sky brings reminiscences of her. A gleeful read, a brilliant line, a painting of  class, a face filled with anecdotes, all of it I seek to share. Nothing else matters but to share all the moments that make me trudge along. The good, the bad, the sarcastic, the useless, the mirth, the happiness, the plight, the discourses from yesteryear, the stories of yore, the bleak movements in my small history, the glad moments of my lean tales, the future, the us, all of it has to be mutually enjoyed. I can see it happen and yet it stays a distant dream.

I shall stay away 'coz, I know not whether you ever even blink an eye from my thought 

I shall stay away 'coz, if I know you do

I shall embrace you with slightest of hands, and I shall stop my words from speaking 

I shall let the embrace remonstrate and my kiss narrate the yarn

But may be you do not want to know,

May be there is the lucky other who already spoke of his story

And the narrative has caught your hearts fancy 

And so you know how to love and it has struck deep inside you 

Not for me , but for some other, but love has you inside of you

But do I need your permits to love you

Do I need to ask for the same 

I am a free man with no mean task at hand

I just need to construct a chalet within me 

Love you more as every passing hour serves me time

And love you so

That when the wind blows on my sepulture

The song that the bard shall play 

would sweeten the days of your life

for everyday ahead

And, you shall seek to know of the sweetest song you have heard

and the heart shall know deep within

this solace is none but from the unknown

But I have felt this string being bent 

somewhere in my long lost years....

I love you

Love you

I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusions


My manners, abominable at times, can be sweet. As I grew older I became a drunk. Why? Because I like ecstasy of the mind. I'm a wretch. But I love, love.


Are we fallen angels who didn't want to believe that nothing is nothing and so were born to lose our loved ones and dear friends one by one and finally our own life, to see it proved?


Would we ever sit together, speak from hearts, and agree to love each other madly

Love is all there is...nothing more....

Neruda Floats in my love

so I wait for you like a lonely house
till you will see me again and live in me.
Till then my windows ache.


Only do not forget, if I wake up crying
it's only because in my dream I'm a lost child

hunting through the leaves of the night for your hands....

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,
I love you simply, without problems or pride:
I love you in this way because I don’t know any other way of loving.

Bitter love, a violet with it's crown of thorns in a thicet of spiky passions, spear of sorrow, corolla of rage: how did you come to conquer my soul? What brought you?

I love you without knowing how, or when,or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close

By night, Love, tie your heart to mine, and the two
together in their sleep will defeat the darkness”

Don’t go far off, not even for a day, because — because — I don’t know how to say it: a day is long
and I will be waiting for you, as in an empty station
when the trains are parked off somewhere else, asleep.

Love is so short, forgetting is so long

You can cut all the flowers but you cannot keep spring from coming

My struggle is harsh and I come back
with eyes tired
at times from having seen
the unchanging earth,
but when your laughter enters
it rises to the sky seeking me
and it opens for me all
the doors of life

Then love knew it was called love.
And when I lifted my eyes to your name,
suddenly your heart showed me my way

In one kiss, you’ll know all I haven’t said

Deep Purple - I'm Alone

Tom Waits - Hope I don't fall in love with you

Al Green - Tired Of Being Alone (1974)

Chef (2014) Movie Clip "Tired Of Being Alone"

14th April 2016

I wake up, you are the first to welcome me back
I sleep, you are by my side, your hair on my face
I speak I see you in front of me
I read a line I want to show off to you
I listen a song I want you to know and listen
I heard a story I want to narrate to you
I saw a scene I want to portray to you
I witness a deed I want to share
I eat a morsel I want you to taste
I turn on my side, I watch as not to disturb you

I love you I do not have any longings
I love you as the sun shall rise every day
I love you with every shade of color
                      a new shade everyday
a new butterfly expanding its wings to
                        to portray its array
I love you from now to the end of my time
I have writ you in my soul embalm to my senses
I have felt no peace such
I have felt no longings such
I have felt no pleasure
                   I know it is but a perception of mine
But I never loved such to know my perception being a delight
You know not of the depth to which I have gone
You know not of the deep terrains that I have explored
        to learn of whether it is love
you may not know
        'coz I may lose my harking of you
you may not know
 but I love to love you thus
like the pearl in the oyster, the oyster unaware
but you are the oysters autobiography


  

Morning...14 April. 2016

I woke up to the flip-flop tunes of morning bustle
         the sweet morning air guzzles into my lungs

You have woken up along with me
        groggily stepping into my apparition's partial milieu

We sat hands wrapped around each other, bodies intertwined
          watching the morning Sun slide the clouds aside
           the wind fluttering for the day to progress

I love to watch us clasping each other, not to let go
          the day welcomes me with a warm embrace
          this is all you, hon, a willful hallucination that am blessed

13 April, 2016 - One more Note

the night is when the imagery blooms brilliant
the warmth of the dark wrap settles the senses
                  the lights flicker away in the distance
       limbs stretch in slothful languor
eyes droop lazily on to each others lap, fingers clasp wanting kip,
lips pursed to each other in no interchange
        hips hang on to the bed in honeyed glee
pleasure enters the bones and veins as the days blues settle in
sleep comes by in measured tomes
            I can watch the clouds settling in far away, dark and somber

And, you arrive lissom and sprightly the smile blooms the surrounds
           do we hug today?
Oh that smile draped on to your rim so ideal
the earnest embrace of your incidence enwraps me

            We watch the clouds gather together,
               listen to the hum of the wind pleating history
               to tell some stories murmered in distant lands
               the melancholic purr of the cat, whir of sand, cry of baby
            all clear and precise for both of us to laud

I can watch the strands of hair on your skin fade in the silken darkness of my gloom
   
I would love to watch you sleep, while I do
              as your body slumps into freedom completely withdrawn
as life's daily death guards your angelic face
your hand on my hand uninhibited, in love, lay

I love you so....my dear..
                 

13 April, Wednesday, 2016

i want to talk about you to someone
        lay down the simplicity of attraction
my sister would give a good listen
        but she is mostly bugs and worms by now, few feet under
               enjoying lasting sleep
my mom can be considered, she judges, but that's ma
       and she would be consumed by the entrails of time
            a smile etched on her haunted death-face
my brother is a charm, he would smile at every word
        he would be reborn someplace, a caterpillar
        readying himself for the phase that's beautiful
 my dad was always curbing his anger, I do not see
        him wondering about your bright beam
To whom do I talk about you in this isolated barn
my mind the only listener
my body shudders in silent delight
my soul vividly fire-flying its way around
        I love the symmetry of what transpires
when I speak of you in undertones to my being
it evokes responses hitherto felt in free willed deeds
you silently tip toe walking away from me
your hair in hushed tones cascading
                 in the rhythm your toes emanate
Oh Dear! how much of you shall I engulf in me
it is the talks that you purport that makes
         your feline self unbearably beautiful
and when the two worlds intertwine
           the brilliant thoughts and the feminine you
the barren landscape the belies me awakens to
      the thunderous downpour of bliss
I am making a volume of  reminisces, 'coz the day you leave
I shall turn each page to wondrous evoke
           the muse of you in me dealing with your permanence
with words that may cease to have meaning

13 April, 2016 -Note 2

did you just twirl the twisted locks that disturbed your vision
did I just watch you whispering to me through your eyes
Is this what I have arrived at with my perception

Would you look at me and smile so that the sun shall never set for me
would you glance and whisper nothings with your lithe jawline

perception is also funny

it has its limitations within the imaginary wanderings
It seeks a better perspective but
what has not been witnessed exposes itself in the muddled waters
but what has not been seen withdraws itself into reality

I do seek reality but I know it is going stay where it is

So I seek realism in the perception
The mind can conjure up anything at will
depends on the dimensions I seek to explore
So I love to watch me hold your hands, even if,
I do not know what your hands hold like
I love to watch me watching you
just looking at every pore and anxious nudge, even if
I do not how they speak, yet I create that language

I explore your conversations, I'm privy to this
but I build them using words that flowed of you, never
in the same demeanor that you expressed them, but,
with the affection that I needed them

Isn't that what all else do even in knowledge and in love
Dear, isn't my perception better to live in
as it is the way you want and I seek and
thus interspersed in pure harmony

Love you again....and as we lumber along together
in genuine discord and discerned accord

13th Wednesday 2016, Note

perplexed with my perceptions
do not worry you do not know my love exists, my cigarette knows
so does my ashtray
my dog thinks I am wee bit lost
he does not know that I am perceiving all things about you
I love you in ways that only I know
I love you so that I could find the harmony in my rhythms
I can sing like the nightingale in gay abandon
the green of the forest ruffling its wings in pleasure
but why the nightingale sings no one need know
'coz the beauty of love is that it is within of me
and in its inability to express finds divine forms and varied ways
I am content at the thought of you
I am content you trudge along by my side
you not knowing you are by me, with me.
me fully aware of your benign presence
I am selfish..dear...

Wandering through the busy streets I longed for a place to slow down my mind from the stimulation, I could've spent hours up there just looking at the beautiful rooftops watching people go by dreaming myself of kafkaesque thoughts.

how many a thought does go by without me placing a ring on it
how many times you talk to me
and I sit wondering did you really say it
or was it
a manifestation of you inside of me
but I love the way you talk the way take that index finger
and
place the tuft of hair behind your ears as a curtain slowly slides
to show me more of what was to be witnessed
oh how I love to watch this over and over
your bright, brilliant smile ever pleasant
and then mind wanders in again, my rusted old piece of bend
it wasn't that smile
it was trying to hide the disharmony in the conversation
she needs you now and she smiles and does her display
         these myriad bits of affection she throws is but tantrums of need
I play that aside and tell him to shut his trap
Still snide still aside I am wondering
but girl, I am here for you and you are safe inside of me
constantly talking, reminding, meandering, hollering
be there, I love you there
the comfort of your presence is the bliss in my summer heat.......


Watching the crowd still the stimulation rarely ceasing even after the silence of the night sets in; I am always wondering what am I all about, what is it that makes me what I am, what am I searching for and the mobile phone blinks and another stimulation pops up for my mind to wander. I can see her somewhere behind all this, her hand slowly raising to move the tuft of hair wandering on to her face, talking, smiling, allowing the digression to be at the forefront....

Is it love or just a passing fad of delightful nothing as a million times before a demeanor has swathed my conscience with the thought that this might be the human hand that fits my minds prejudiced trifles. Or is it really that I found someone so late in the day who simply fits the caricatures that my DNA seeks in the muffled imbroglio of uneven characteristics that want to unwind and find free will...

WTF...I am in love...and you are inside of me... that's all