Can I bring you a smile from where I am, sis
your smile can bring the charm back dear
dad kept his rage building at all times
the door had slammed hard at mom's face
he was down near the stairs unable to hold himself
I could see the shine of leather, black and lucid
the buckle was large, had a skull beaming back at me
it sneaked upon my thigh and then my back
tattoos all over, a little streak of red, to add to the charm
he was not content, he looked at you...
I can still feel your little hands clasping in horror on to mine
the fingers crushing my flesh, the fear building steam
I think he could not rush you, chubby cheeks
dimples, you were too tiny, but you lost your smile, then
your dada not perfect
the leather rasped back and this time my hand gathered the sting
we never got over that ever,
he in his birthday suit, a minuscule cotton rag
covering his essentials, a hard on in the fume, visible
momma with a gash on her face, breathing heavy
still spewing her inconsistent venom
the three of us wondering why the clock is not ticking
why the stillness of the night sloths today
what bought his fury such grudge?
he hated it all, the seeds of a grueling life
he hated the responsibility, the accountability
he did not feel free
the wrath let him free, the dark somber clouds in the brain
cleared away for him
baby, you remember, as the lights went out
they were murmuring and my sobs were absorbed in the air
you clung to me, shivering, snuggling
you helping me, more than I, you
the air had the stench of dreariness
there was the clockwork hum of mating
a wild unloved intermingling of bodies
soothing their senses, frightening for us
as comfort shall not settle for them
and the day would gladly rise for another round of reckoning
I know, you need to smile, dear
for me, please for once, we need to share a real smile
can I bring you a smile from where I am....
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