I read a line yesterday evening which got me thinking.
"Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you."
Interesting, isn't it.
Perspective is the essence of human thinking and endeavor. Contextually the above line sounds really cool. But in a real-time scenario, under a particular circumstance, which is purely yours and in your world professional or personal, it just sounds good, that is all. There is nothing more to it, nothing less.
I love the point of view. I have done it personally to let go of many a people who sucked the happiness out of me. Some of them were my own choices that degraded down to that kind of an abyss as time passed by, some of them crept on me and without my conscious knowledge started sucking the life-force out of me. There is another angle to it too, may be I also unconsciously debilitated the delight in someone. Remember that most people, unconsciously do it. No one in their right senses want to dissipate what is bright and untrammeled; it just happens based on a particular situation or occasion. Human beings are not that bad. Yes there is a massive definition and precise differentiation in the thought process. A line that demarcates the good and the bad and mebbe further down the hole, the ugly. I wonder why this obsession with demarcation so that we can have a perspective that all we say, do, consider and comprehend is right and good. I believe that there are no precise separations. Every one of us has a little bit of everything. An incident, a happenstance, a contingency is what creates a situational reaction, and it could be good, bad or downright ugly depending on the mental state that prevailed, previously or experience has generated over the years.
I was standing on the outside of my ancestral home with my cousin brother when his dad was working for the temple committee. The temple was just across the house mentioned, and we could see him being calm and composed in his conversation with all the committee members. Just to give a perspective, he was always calm and composed and probably a very jovial man with a countenance that never was overbearing to noone. He was one of those who mind his own business and never worried about the wider horizons of human thinking so as to not get hassled, I reckon.
A person in a larger cruiser bike came close to us and asked for directions to meet this uncle of mine. We pointed towards the temple and balding individual as the person whom he is looking for. The man rode the few paces and started to have a conversation in a heavy toned and brusque manner. Well, my uncle did not loose his famed countenance but he slapped in the very same demeanor he was noted for.
Surprise, 'coz I said, SLAP. I mean he slapped someone. It was like what the hell. Of course, it was a damp squib as the man who came left with a huff on his cruiser for whatever reasons. The bigger picture: My uncle does mind his own business, does not worry about other people's business, lives calmly and in a surreal manner in his own way. So for him to loose his physiognomy could get us curious. Which it did. We found that he was having a relationship with someone in the neighboring village and the guy in the cruiser was some kind of good samaritan who wanted to ask what the deal was all about. He got slapped.
The situation was different. His primary demeanor would have never assuaged the situation. In fact it may have turned worse. Even this reaction could have turned sour under a different circumstance and another stranger. But it did not for whatever reasons. We mentioned it to a few of our family members, nobody believed us. He of course, denied the existence of any such incidence and nobody dared question him beyond that as his dour look would have made anyone circumspect of the reaction that may arise.
What I wanted to elaborate was this one incident does not define him as a person. But for that stranger who got slapped, my Uncle was a particular kind of person which is completely different from all other perspectives that have ever floated around. And I am sure, even if I do not know the details, for the other lady who was in the relationship my Uncle was not the cool masked brilliance that everyone deemed him to be on the other side of the spectrum.
All men and women, under different circumstances, with distinct people, under varied incidental strains, react in manners that may defy possibilities. The success of many an individual is also dependent on this aspect. The reaction to a possible situation that may raise your stature to another level happens in the very same manner that may completely degrade your level to another abyss that may be insurmountable.
Look at the Afro - American men and women in the United States. They keep defying odds and they keep being combative and slowly and steadily they are out there in the open in almost all the spheres of life chipping away. Whether you pick up music, sports, business, anything they are there and they rule the roost. And they are brilliant at what they do which makes it more special. But on the other side, the same energy, the same intensity, fervor, anxiety, earnestness and the need and hunger to be the best and to be successful, sometimes ends up on the other side of the law. It is the situations that create the scenario of where you want to go. I hear a lot of stories. People and their anecdotes interest me and they share so I remember and almost all of it has a perspective which popped out of a situation or an incident at a particular moment and mostly at a crossroad that could have showcased a few paths.
Good or bad. That is the way it goes. A girl told me that she had an opportunity to be a dancer and she was good but in a freak accident she broke her leg and was bed ridden for about 5 months and whatever opportunity she thought she had standing at the crossroads and looking out at the world of dance dissipated. She does not crib 'coz she has found something else, which was again worthwhile. So that is good and does she miss the world of dance, Yup! a lot, her limp is gone and she is going to work on it somewhere along the way for her own longing to be satiated.
Think of this; a boy from the noisiest, lousiest red light district in the country, Sona Gachi; Kolkata, India was adopted by a New York city resident couple. From Sona Gachi, he got transported straight to Lower East Side. This ludicrous neighborhood was filled with the stench of blood, sweat and semen, coupled with raucous, scathing and disparaging sounds that would fill the 2 by 6 meter cube called home. This was where the mother or whomsoever took care of him lived, and desecrated their body's and souls and he had grown up watching the violations, depredations and befouling of her as well as some others. From here to the wide expanse of higher living, Lower East Side, the condo had a bathroom the size of the whole he was in. The view was magnificent. The kid was just 8 years old when he got picked for adoption. He was just one among a big lot of kids from the same place. In fact, just to add to the drama, someone told me that the kid was late in joining the group as he was caught up at the open air washroom. Everything changed, I know if it is a better life, as Lower East side can also be hell depending on the people you are with, but things changed. All the other ones who stood there on that day, may be thinking of destiny, luck, fate etc; but again who knows sometimes, Sona Gachi may well be paradise in comparison to Lower East Side, NY. It is a perspective isn't it, it depends who is looking and how.
It is tough live without perspectives. It helps us to see the brighter side of almost everything. It helps us to camouflage the so called weaknesses that we carry. It makes our days better, it makes our families look refulgent, our friends: awe-inspiring and our world around beautiful. We just seem to find comfort in most things. Our need of perfection moves aside and based on the situation we pick up a perfection that is much more aligned to reality and accept it as the best possible under the current scenario; which in turn makes us move on to other more important pursuits with much needed focus.
We shall continue the conversation further as the topic is of utmost importance. There are these extreme cases of showcasing of happiness under any circumstances. The bouncy nature of the exhibition of cacophony is something which needs a little surmise when witnessed. There seems to be a certain kind of withdrawal symptom of some sorts, may be due to the entertainment industry and the images they promulgate and the nature of life showcased on all these mediums which is but withdrawn from reality. But that has created this trumpeting of things which seem deliberate and unreal without much substance and the continuity of such nature would create a disassociation with the emotion of happiness, laughter, pure amusement and simple merriment.
Again, that is my perception....
"Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you."
Interesting, isn't it.
Perspective is the essence of human thinking and endeavor. Contextually the above line sounds really cool. But in a real-time scenario, under a particular circumstance, which is purely yours and in your world professional or personal, it just sounds good, that is all. There is nothing more to it, nothing less.
I love the point of view. I have done it personally to let go of many a people who sucked the happiness out of me. Some of them were my own choices that degraded down to that kind of an abyss as time passed by, some of them crept on me and without my conscious knowledge started sucking the life-force out of me. There is another angle to it too, may be I also unconsciously debilitated the delight in someone. Remember that most people, unconsciously do it. No one in their right senses want to dissipate what is bright and untrammeled; it just happens based on a particular situation or occasion. Human beings are not that bad. Yes there is a massive definition and precise differentiation in the thought process. A line that demarcates the good and the bad and mebbe further down the hole, the ugly. I wonder why this obsession with demarcation so that we can have a perspective that all we say, do, consider and comprehend is right and good. I believe that there are no precise separations. Every one of us has a little bit of everything. An incident, a happenstance, a contingency is what creates a situational reaction, and it could be good, bad or downright ugly depending on the mental state that prevailed, previously or experience has generated over the years.
I was standing on the outside of my ancestral home with my cousin brother when his dad was working for the temple committee. The temple was just across the house mentioned, and we could see him being calm and composed in his conversation with all the committee members. Just to give a perspective, he was always calm and composed and probably a very jovial man with a countenance that never was overbearing to noone. He was one of those who mind his own business and never worried about the wider horizons of human thinking so as to not get hassled, I reckon.
A person in a larger cruiser bike came close to us and asked for directions to meet this uncle of mine. We pointed towards the temple and balding individual as the person whom he is looking for. The man rode the few paces and started to have a conversation in a heavy toned and brusque manner. Well, my uncle did not loose his famed countenance but he slapped in the very same demeanor he was noted for.
Surprise, 'coz I said, SLAP. I mean he slapped someone. It was like what the hell. Of course, it was a damp squib as the man who came left with a huff on his cruiser for whatever reasons. The bigger picture: My uncle does mind his own business, does not worry about other people's business, lives calmly and in a surreal manner in his own way. So for him to loose his physiognomy could get us curious. Which it did. We found that he was having a relationship with someone in the neighboring village and the guy in the cruiser was some kind of good samaritan who wanted to ask what the deal was all about. He got slapped.
The situation was different. His primary demeanor would have never assuaged the situation. In fact it may have turned worse. Even this reaction could have turned sour under a different circumstance and another stranger. But it did not for whatever reasons. We mentioned it to a few of our family members, nobody believed us. He of course, denied the existence of any such incidence and nobody dared question him beyond that as his dour look would have made anyone circumspect of the reaction that may arise.
What I wanted to elaborate was this one incident does not define him as a person. But for that stranger who got slapped, my Uncle was a particular kind of person which is completely different from all other perspectives that have ever floated around. And I am sure, even if I do not know the details, for the other lady who was in the relationship my Uncle was not the cool masked brilliance that everyone deemed him to be on the other side of the spectrum.
All men and women, under different circumstances, with distinct people, under varied incidental strains, react in manners that may defy possibilities. The success of many an individual is also dependent on this aspect. The reaction to a possible situation that may raise your stature to another level happens in the very same manner that may completely degrade your level to another abyss that may be insurmountable.
Look at the Afro - American men and women in the United States. They keep defying odds and they keep being combative and slowly and steadily they are out there in the open in almost all the spheres of life chipping away. Whether you pick up music, sports, business, anything they are there and they rule the roost. And they are brilliant at what they do which makes it more special. But on the other side, the same energy, the same intensity, fervor, anxiety, earnestness and the need and hunger to be the best and to be successful, sometimes ends up on the other side of the law. It is the situations that create the scenario of where you want to go. I hear a lot of stories. People and their anecdotes interest me and they share so I remember and almost all of it has a perspective which popped out of a situation or an incident at a particular moment and mostly at a crossroad that could have showcased a few paths.
Good or bad. That is the way it goes. A girl told me that she had an opportunity to be a dancer and she was good but in a freak accident she broke her leg and was bed ridden for about 5 months and whatever opportunity she thought she had standing at the crossroads and looking out at the world of dance dissipated. She does not crib 'coz she has found something else, which was again worthwhile. So that is good and does she miss the world of dance, Yup! a lot, her limp is gone and she is going to work on it somewhere along the way for her own longing to be satiated.
Think of this; a boy from the noisiest, lousiest red light district in the country, Sona Gachi; Kolkata, India was adopted by a New York city resident couple. From Sona Gachi, he got transported straight to Lower East Side. This ludicrous neighborhood was filled with the stench of blood, sweat and semen, coupled with raucous, scathing and disparaging sounds that would fill the 2 by 6 meter cube called home. This was where the mother or whomsoever took care of him lived, and desecrated their body's and souls and he had grown up watching the violations, depredations and befouling of her as well as some others. From here to the wide expanse of higher living, Lower East Side, the condo had a bathroom the size of the whole he was in. The view was magnificent. The kid was just 8 years old when he got picked for adoption. He was just one among a big lot of kids from the same place. In fact, just to add to the drama, someone told me that the kid was late in joining the group as he was caught up at the open air washroom. Everything changed, I know if it is a better life, as Lower East side can also be hell depending on the people you are with, but things changed. All the other ones who stood there on that day, may be thinking of destiny, luck, fate etc; but again who knows sometimes, Sona Gachi may well be paradise in comparison to Lower East Side, NY. It is a perspective isn't it, it depends who is looking and how.
It is tough live without perspectives. It helps us to see the brighter side of almost everything. It helps us to camouflage the so called weaknesses that we carry. It makes our days better, it makes our families look refulgent, our friends: awe-inspiring and our world around beautiful. We just seem to find comfort in most things. Our need of perfection moves aside and based on the situation we pick up a perfection that is much more aligned to reality and accept it as the best possible under the current scenario; which in turn makes us move on to other more important pursuits with much needed focus.
We shall continue the conversation further as the topic is of utmost importance. There are these extreme cases of showcasing of happiness under any circumstances. The bouncy nature of the exhibition of cacophony is something which needs a little surmise when witnessed. There seems to be a certain kind of withdrawal symptom of some sorts, may be due to the entertainment industry and the images they promulgate and the nature of life showcased on all these mediums which is but withdrawn from reality. But that has created this trumpeting of things which seem deliberate and unreal without much substance and the continuity of such nature would create a disassociation with the emotion of happiness, laughter, pure amusement and simple merriment.
Again, that is my perception....
